Disability approved!

That's weird. I have had to use disability because I have no leave. This is the best way to be able to go and do surgeries and chemo, but I don't feel disabled. Most times I don't even feel sick. It is sort of depressing to be put under a term that makes me feel like I need a handicapped parking sticker and a motorized cart to get groceries. Oh well. I do say a lot, things could be worse. I am blessed to even be able to have some sort of means to get paid while I fly for treatments all the time. I am blessed to work with and for folks that just deal with the issues, especially since they are like an annual thing. I am blessed to be back at work too because I was going insane looking at too much tv and needing more of a purpose. This helps my mind feel fresher and like I am contributing to something which I feel is important. Yes, even though it is a State job which comes with a stigma, I like what I do and feel like it is a good thing for folks that get served.

Let's do it all again

The next chemoembolization is scheduled for May 12th. I am ready for that business to be over, and get back to chemo. The schedule and plan for the next step of treatment is still getting worked out but in the next 6-8 weeks I should be back to my regularly scheduled drugs. Other than waiting and being somewhat bored at home, things are going well. I think I would enjoy my time home more if I could do more projects. I look at all the stuff I want to do and it is frustrating. Oh well. That must be a good sign I am doing and feeling better.

Me and myself!

We seem to be the same again. Yesterday I decided no more drugs! Now that sounds pretty awesome, I will even go as far as saying, "Just Say No!" Ugh, I had felt a little (or alot) jittery where I just wanted to nervously move any body part. Weird. Oh that was probably oxycontin, yeah, lucky me, plus the two anti nausea drugs which were not exactly pepto bismol. I am happy to annouce that I am drug free for one day and there is no pain (whoo-hoo!!!) and no nausea (double Whoo-HOO!). I even stopped cold turkey.

I was all worried I would become an addict after my thoughts while lying in bed, being jittery, and not sleeping were it would be so much easier if I took the drugs, no! :) It has only been a week today and I am just so happy to be feeling well and safe, and without drugs. I thought the way I was feeling which now appears pretty drug induced that I would be feeling crappy for a couple more days. So happy, so blessed. :)

Turns out that...

The CTCA did not give me the right combo of drugs for anti nausea so that was part of the problem. After lots of no eating yesterday and calling the center we discovered that I have to be on two anti nausea drugs. I am a little disappointed they didn't discover that earlier because in the hospital I had the same over lap of drugs because they were looking for what would work. I am glad that it works now. I was nervous they would make me go to the hospital because of not being able to eat or drink.

Anyway... I think I feel better today and I am getting used to some of the drugs, moreso, because I am not sleeping as much. :)

Druggy blog...

As I sit to write this I feel all druggy so friends, I am going to need a bit of grace if I write something goofy.

The surgery went well, so the surgeon says, and that pretty much is who counts. I did have some sickness and am still recovering at home. I think I am better today than yesterday so that is how I am judging success for recovery. Pretty much all the drugs they have given me for pain and anti nausea are all with a sleep side effect and don't drive your car. So I guess I am not going to be going to many places. Not that I really want to. Craig is here with me today trying to find something that I want to eat, so I hope that works. All of his masterful culinary skills and I am like ehhh, I can't eat all that or whatever. I don't like that but what am I going to do. I can do yogurt. Is a steady diet of yogurt healthy?

Well, more updates will follow. Hopefully the next will say how I have just bounced back and need no more pills!

Soooooooon....

Tomorrow is Thursday. We have travel plans to get out to Philly tomorrow evening so I can get up bright and grumpy on Friday morning. The grumpy will be due to the not eating and being at the hospital! I am not nervous yet, but we are far away from Philly right now and today has been fairly normal, well except for all I am doing at work is preparing to go on disability. If that isn't something to make you feel sick and decrepit I don't know what is.

Friends, I would welcome your prayers. Like I said I am not nervous yet, but it will come. I hate giving myself over to a situation that I can't control. Tada! That is probably the root of a million different problems I have. :) But I am confident this is the right thing to do. I pray that it is effective and efficient. Extra mercy from God would be to not feel run over by a truck and my liver would be strong and hearty. Unfortunately I will not be able to write updates till I get home because the CTCA wants patients to use their patient website for blogging their cancer journeys. I didn't even know they had something like that until I tried to access the blogging sites there and they are all blocked. I pretty much refuse to use their sicky cancer blog site because it is a sicky cancer blog site. :) All that to say I promise to get you updates as soon as I can.